Fact Time...

Fact: There are more trips made to the emergency room from slicing bagels than any other type of accident.

If...

If you think no one cares if you are alive...try missing a couple of car payments...

Things That Don't Exist...

Things That Don't Exist...
1. shoes made out of butterflies
2. fish food for humans
3. nag champa flavored toothpaste
4. "Feng Shui for your aquarium" books
5. checks with Satan on them
6. riveting 3rd grade math books
7. tropical punch scented deoderant
8. chop sicks that are good at chopping
9. teeth massages
10. fake freckle injections
11. velvet toilet paper
12. a mathematical equation for love
13. funny parking tickets
14. tequilla flavoered ice cream
15. address books with the addresses already in them
16. makeup for trees

Sleep Camping...

Is there such thing as "Sleep Camping"? ...you know...when you fall asleep in your bed... but at some point in the middle of the night you unconsciously pack all your camping gear in the car, drive off into the woods, pitch your tent, build a fire, tell a ghost story, pack up the car, return home and wake up in your bed with no memory of the adventure... because...number 1. That would be really cool...and number 2. That would explain the 40 some odd bug bites I woke up with this morning... I "Slept Camped" last night....maybe???