Yard Sale...

A lovely friend of mine just taught me a new term... and low-and-behold it's on
urbandictionary.com...

Definition of "yard sale":
When a skier or snowboarder eats it on the slopes and loses all of their gear. If a skier loses his skies, poles, hat, goggles, and anything else, shout "YARD SALE" from the ski lift above him.

Love it!

"Turkey will always be the main event at my house..."

I know it's probably bad blog karma to criticize one's blog in your own blog...BUT............
For an entertaining evening...i highly recommend gathering a few friends and reading from Gwenyth Paltrow's blog aloud...

Here's an excerpt and a link...
This is for real....

Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday. I love when everyone comes together and celebrates the idea of gratitude, something we all mean to do every day, but seem to lose sight of most of the time. I also love the cooking – the days of planning and chopping and basting. This year, I decided to work out three variations on the traditional meal: a big group, a small gathering and a cozy dinner for two.
Turkey will always be the main event of Thanksgiving (at least in my house) and a whole turkey is the way to go if you’re feeding at least 12. But if your party is smaller, the stuffed turkey breast turns out to be a great halfway point. Brining it overnight insures that you don’t need to baste it and it has a quick cooking time. Why should things be any less festive if dinner is just for two? I came up with these stuffed turkey burgers which were a giant hit in my house. They are the perfect solution for anyone who isn’t feeding a big group (or for a big group that wants to try something different!).
Mostly, make sure that no matter what type of meal you are having, you take a moment to think about how much you do have (health, love, friendship, passion, perspective, appreciation, intellect, reason, kindness) and reflect on how you can share more of it with others.
http://www.goop.com/

Popular...

Wish I would've know this guy...he must've been REALLY cool...!

Time For a Shout Out...

This guy...



It's easy to take for granted this little man... who can spew scalding hot water within minutes of turning a knob on the very coldest of L.A. mornings...but I like to say a little... "thanks Mr. Water Heater..." every time i get to wake up to his glorious warmth...

Now if we could just work out the whole freezing toilet seat situation...

Another Airport Story...

So I was all ready for airport security...no guns...check...no liquids...check...it came time for me to go through the "metal detector".
I hate this part...i always feel like if it finds some metal I'll get zapped or something.
It reminds me of when Atreyu goes through the Southern Oracle and you wait with bated breath to see if his heart is pure enough that the Sphinxes don't open their eyes and zap him.

I think about that every time I go through airport security.

Anyway...I'm pretty sure I am completely metal less and I walk through...but i guess I walked a little funny...I think I almost ran through out of irrational fear. The security guy on the other end wasn't having it, and said....
"I need you to turn around... go back through... and this time...walk normal."

I had failed.

I went back to the beginning. At least I was being given a second chance.
But I was stumped...which one was "normal"? I can do a limp, I can walk like a gorilla, I can show you an old lady with a cane...but for the life of me i couldn't remember "normal"...the pressure was definitely on.
I gathered all the knowledge I could as to how "normal" people walk... and I went through again... this time...in slow motion...and...on tiptoe.
The security guy shook his head...but knowing I was a lost cause told me i could grab my bag and move on.

My Favorite Quote of the Day...That I Said...

Upon meeting some new people...

"Hi...it's nice to meet you.........sorry...it'll take a minute or two for me to come out of my shell...then you're really gonna miss that shell..."

Soap...

It's ironic...one of the most difficult things to clean up is spilled...soap.

A Wonderful Birthday...

You know what would be really funny... to throw a party on someone's birthday and invite them without alluding to the fact that it's their birthday... then when they arrive tell them it's an intervention for them and have the guests be really concerned... then when the guest of honor is real down in the dumps and ashamed have evryoine say "Just kidding...Suprise Happy Birthday!" They'll be so relieved that they don't have a problem that they will have a wonderful birthday!

Don't be Schmeil!...

What if the word "late" was changed to the word "schmeil"...???

"I'm sorry I'm so schmeil, I couldn't find my keys."...
"I'm running a little bit schmeil, but will get there soon."...
"Don't be schmeil!"...
"My period is schmeil...sure hope I'm not pregnant."

I think the world would feel just a tiny bit lighter...

Traffic School...

so i've been taking online traffic school lately...you know... just to brush up (and to get a red light photo ticket off my record) and i've been noticing some pretty funny stuff...
Here is an exact questions i was asked in order to move onto the course three...
True or False?...

1. When you encounter someone driving the wrong way on a one way street, you should block their path with your car in order to protect other drivers on the road.

A. True

B. False

By the way... the correct answer is False. I really hope you got that.


Here's another driving tidbit to remember...

"Use your horn to warn others of your presence or of an impending situation. DO NOT use your horn to express your emotions (i.e. anger, rage, disappointment)."

HONK HONK!! "I'm sooo Dissapointed in you!!" Hahaha.

And my personal favorite quote in course one...

"Backing up against the flow of traffic is foolishly risky."
"foolishly risky"...that's sooo cute!

I'm Confused...

I'm confused. Whenever the millenium was brought up in the 1980's and 90's... there was always talk of shiny futuristic metallic clothes... Here we are almost a decade in... NO metallic clothes what so ever... I guesss we really misjudged that.

Good Advice...

Not sure what to do with your life....? follow these two simple guidlines and you should be fine...

Smiling Food...

What does it say about our society that we are not phased when eating something that is smiling back at us...?




I mean...look at this guy....i want to hang out with him....not eat him...

Relax.....

"Relax...it's only a movie!".... is a button my grandma used to keep by her bed...it used to really freak me out...like...if it's only a movie... why do i have to do anything?

Attention Shoppers....

This is the best time of the year to buy a bathing suit... they are on sale and haven't been completely weeded through yet. So go ahead... give yourself something to look forward to while we endure yet another long harsh L.A. winter...;)

"Spare a Quarter"...

As if we need any more proof that costs are rising...but there's a homeless guy in my neighbor hood who has been asking for change the same way for as long as i've lived in LA... I call him "Spare a quarter" guy... he always says the same thing with the same toothless grin... "Spare a quarter?"... yesterday outside of Trader Joes... even HIS costs are going up as he said to me... "Spare a dollar?"!

Test Your Legal Knowledge...

One of the pictures below shows something illegal to do in a Ralph's shopping center... and something legal to do in a Ralph's Shopping center... can you guess which is illegal....?





You are incorrect... riding around in the motorized shopping cart which is typically reserved for the elderly and disabled is LEGAL... taking photographs of your friends having a jovial time in a Ralph's shopping center is ILLEGAL...go figure...

Please...

Please don't put clothing on your pets. Thank you.

No gum...?

Have you ever been to Target and just bought 1 item...? betcha you haven't...In fact I recently asked my local Target checker if he has ever seen this.... he said...

"Just one item...with no gum....?"I said..."just 1 item with no gum...no magazine... no last minute impulse buy of a $7.99 Titanic DVD...1 item...you ever see this?"... He said no.

My Slightly Evil Thought For the Day...

Today I had at least one slightly evil thought... As I was putting a flower pin on my lapel (in order to hide a small pasta stain)... i wished...just for a second... that is was one of those flower pins that would squirt water into peoples eyeballs...